Child’s Attachment to the Mother

Many mothers complain that their child is overly attached to them without having an explanation for this behavior. However, there are reasons that must be recognized and considered so that we can deal with these children in a positive way.

Causes of a child’s excessive attachment to the mother:

• Separation anxiety: One of the most common reasons for an infant’s attachment to their mother is the anxiety of being separated from her, and the feeling that if they move away from her, they will never see her again.

• Stranger anxiety: A child may feel unwilling to leave their mother for fear of being with people they do not know. This anxiety usually arises when leaving the child with a relative for the first time, creating a conditional association that the mother’s absence means leaving their world and being with unfamiliar people.

• Expression of will: One of the surprising reasons for attachment is the imposition of opinion or the expression of their will. In the early stages of life, a child begins to develop their will and desire to accept or refuse; therefore, insisting on going with you to the bathroom or crying to be carried may simply be a desire to assert their will.

• Sudden changes in routine: Sudden changes in a child’s life, such as changing their sleeping place, moving house, or even illness, can make them feel fearful and cautious, leading them to cling to their primary safety zone—the mother.

• Seeking attention: If a child feels their mother is busy, they may react with excessive attachment to receive full attention. You may notice this attachment occurs specifically when you use your phone or are busy preparing food.

• Family problems: Divorce and disputes between parents significantly affect the child. While you may think a child at this age does not understand what is happening, studies confirm that infants understand expressions and negative emotions. Intense arguments accompanied by shouting make the little one feel afraid, so they cling to you to feel safe again.

• Excessive pampering: This is a common parenting mistake, especially with an only child. Over-pampering and yielding to every desire makes the child abnormally attached to the mother, as she is the person who fulfills everything they want.

• Overprotectiveness: A mother’s excessive fear for her child and an extreme desire to protect them may lead her to isolate them from the outside world. Consequently, the child becomes excessively attached to the mother, limiting their world to just the home and the mother.